“I’m going to make sure he doesn’t kill anyone,” Cannon mumbled looking confused, his hand pulling on his hair, casting one last glance at the bathroom.

  Maddox offered me a dark pained look as he sat on her ruined bed, and pushed his hands through his hair looking down.

  “Why?” Zed asked, his eyes wide, and I couldn’t stare at him too long because the man looked fucking heartbroken. Bloody hell.

  “Because we pushed her,” Philip said softly, looking dazed from where he sat on the window seat looking over the state of her room. I was going to kill the kids who did this. I knew it wasn’t the only reason she left, but it was the tipping point.

  Charm was quiet, pain lancing his features despite trying to hide it. I closed my eyes, feeling around the spirit realm that covered the Horde like a blanket, seeing absolutely no sign of the butterfly woman that usually stood out to me. Her energy was soft silver with streaks of blue, pink, and purple in it. I had been so damn worked up about that asshole kid that I’d forgotten to keep tabs on her for a minute too long. Forgotten how Maize had looked before she had locked herself in that bathroom.

  Gone.

  Cannon appeared in the doorway, “Her scent leads towards the castle. Valerio has already left, I could use some help.”

  Everyone moved from the room at different levels of speed, and I followed last, walking next to Maddox as we trailed down six flights and out into the cold silent night. My eyes steadied on the figures of my team ahead of me but didn’t bother to try to stop their fruitless mission. I knew they needed this.

  I swallowed as I tried to not overthink how intensely this was bothering me. After we found her, then I could handle it. Only then. Then I would need to come to terms with how exactly I felt about all of this, and more importantly, her.

  Honestly, as we neared the castle I began to wonder if Maize would even want to come back. Afterall, she left for a reason. Maddox, someone I considered my brother, more so than the others even, was staring at the ground with a distressed look on his face. When I’d heard he had kissed her, I’d been jealous. But more jealous that I hadn’t been there in the moment with the three of us. I felt like we were far more complete with Maize between us, whether it be a hug or hopefully, one day soon, way more. My cock twitched at that thought, and I shook my head. She wasn’t even here, and she was turning me on.

  The castle guard was talking quietly to someone that seemed to be taking over his shift. Valerio approached him, and I closed my eyes knowing this was going to be a goddamn disaster.

  You see, Valerio was a lot of things, but out of control wasn’t usually one of them. Maize elicited a strong reaction in me but in him, he was like a different person. I could see the anger and panic on his face at the thought of her being gone. I nearly chuckled at that. Despite his attempt to distance himself, I saw the way he watched her…literally constantly. He always had tabs on her, and it wasn’t until he realized she was out at a pub with other soldiers that the crazy switch flipped. If this wasn’t all so pressing, it would be funny.

  “Where the hell is she?” He slammed the guard up against the wall as Cannon put a hand on the other’s chest to hold him back. This was going to end poorly.

  “Who?” the guard snarled. I’d seen him before but couldn’t for the life of me remember his name.

  “Maize, she trained with you until recently,” Zed offered, his voice rough as if it hurt him to talk.

  The kids' eyes widened and then narrowed. “Are you the fucking reason she showed up at the palace gates crying tonight?”

  Valerio dropped the kid and stepped away, shaking with tension. After twenty-seven years of being calm and collected, this was the shit that would break him. I was already broken. Broken and in love with a woman who clearly didn’t want to be with us. The reality left a heavy weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

  “Where is she now?” Philip demanded, his jaw tense.

  “She had an audience with Queen Gray, I have no idea,” the man offered, looking disgusted with us, making me want to punch him.

  Before any of us could say anything, a door opened and my eyebrows raised. Queen Gray, and two of her men, Rhodes and Adyen, walked out at the end of the long hallway. I knew there was a waiting room near the throne room, so clearly they had met there. Immediately, she looked up, and something passed on her face as she looked at both of her husbands walking towards us. Both guards paled in her presence, but that didn’t surprise me too much, the woman was terrifying.

  “What can I help you with, commanders?” she spoke quietly, despite her serious face there was a flicker of amusement in her gaze. She knew exactly why we were here.

  Valerio stayed silent, and I knew he didn’t trust himself. I spoke softly. “We’re looking for Maize, Your Majesty.”

  She hummed, looking unsurprised, and searched our faces. “She’s gone.”

  I winced as Valerio hit the stone wall with the side of his hand, ignoring the snarl that came from Adyen. I closed my eyes and hoped he would keep it together. You know, so we didn’t get our necks snapped or something along those lines.

  “Where did she go?” Cannon asked evenly.

  “She told me not to say,” Gray said, not looking fully as though she agreed with the decision.

  Then Charm out of all people spoke, “We need to make sure she’s okay. She was nearly attacked by one of our academy recruits, and her room was destroyed tonight. I know she ran because she was freaking out, but she shouldn’t be alone. Not right now.”

  Gray searched our expressions and looked up at Rhodes. He offered her a small smile. “You know my opinion, it would have helped a lot if someone had told me where you had disappeared to for three weeks.”

  “The Earth realm,” she stated softly after a moment, “I won’t tell you where, you have to figure that out on your own. I am only telling you this because I know Maize is self-exiling herself due to unnecessary guilt. So make sure you know exactly what you want when you go find her, or else it will make her far more confused.”

  I knew exactly what I wanted when it came to Maize.

  “We need a portal then,” Zed muttered.

  Gray mumbled something under her breath that sounded like, ‘I need some fucking sleep and coffee to deal with this shit.’ Instead, she closed her eyes and formed in her hand seven small black orbs that were marble size. As those were passed out, she created seven more. I rolled mine in my hands, thinking just how large the Earth realm was.

  “I’m going to bed,” Gray sighed and shook her head, “you boys better not screw up. Rhodes, honey, could you show them to the map room, let them decide how they want to split up.” I was thanking the maker there were so many of us, and thankful she offered us the ability to portal there and back, that was a lot to ask of someone with her power level.

  Rhodes kissed her forehead, and Adyen offered him a goading smile as he shook his head, stalking down the hall as we followed. I spoke softly so Valerio could hear me. “Do not break them until we figure out where we want to go. If we fuck this up, we’ll never be able to find her. Earth isn’t small.”

  Once inside a massive room, Rhodes spread out a map of Earth, and then he looked up at us. After seeing something, he muttered under his breath. Turning towards a stack of files, he pulled out a silver folder.

  “Why do you need to find her?” he asked suddenly, not offering the odd folder he held.

  When none of us answered, he shook his head and spoke softly, “If this is a mistake, and Maize gets hurt, and my wife gets pissed at you, and then at me for handing off these coordinates, I will kill you. Understand? I don’t like when she’s mad at me, she ignores me and shite.”

  I nearly chuckled at that. He continued, “Gray owns properties throughout the Earth realm. I have no idea where Maize is at, but I know it’s in the states.”

  “There are eight properties?” Cannon asked, looking over a slim sheet of coordinates.

  “Hope you guess the right ones, not my bloody problem if you don’t - good luck.”

  Then the English bastard was gone, and Valerio scanned the paper looking as though he was assuming control. I listened as he chose each place for us based on the map, and I mumbled the state I was going to under my breath. New York. Was that the one that smelled a bit? Possibly. I hadn’t spent a ton of time there before. Luckily, we had cell-like devices that allowed us to stay in contact when we go on missions, despite us rarely going on them nowadays.

  “If one of us finds her, you need to immediately call,” Valerio instructed looking at each one of us. “I don’t want to spend more time there than necessary.”

  “What if she doesn’t want to come back, we can’t force her,” I stated honestly.

  Valerio clenched his jaw, “We will fucking figure it out after we find her.”

  Closing my eyes I imagined where I was going, and as the darkness shadowed around me, I felt myself fall through space. I really hoped we found her soon. I needed the strength she gave me without even realizing it. I needed the touch of her hands that calmed me, even in just a goddamn hand hold. I just fucking needed her.

  Maybe then I could tell her just how important she’d become to me.

  Tell her that I love her.

  Chapter 15

  Maize

  Gray hadn’t been wrong. This was in the middle of nowhere but in the best way possible.

  When I’d arrived last night, I’d all but crashed outside of the house like a goddamn asteroid, probably scaring the crap out of Alexa, the estate director, who had been standing outside on the large porch waiting, for me I assume.

  I swore, rolling over as the cold stone surface underneath me had me grimacing. I grumbled and sat up, noticing that there was snow on all sides of the stone-laid path I was on. I inhaled, the scent of pine and fresh snow surrounded me, the pure silence of the place making me forget that there was a massive house in front of me with a woman waiting patiently. Could you blame me? The open skies were cloudless, the night cool and to all sides was open expansive lands with some higher hills and mountains in the distance. It almost seemed alien to me, considering the little traveling I’d done. When the woman cleared her throat, I drew my attention to her.

  “Hi,” I stood up brushing myself off, knowing I looked like a mess. “Gray offered for me to stay--”

  “I know, dear,” she offered a small amused smile and motioned for me to walk up onto the porch. I finally looked over the large estate. It honestly reminded me of a log cabin...times one hundred, because it was massive. It distracted me long enough that when a surge of pain went through my chest, I was taken off guard a bit. It was like I’d forgotten why I was running away. Walking up the stairs, snow crunching under my feet, the woman held the large door open for me as the warmth of the house instantly collapsed around me.

  My eyes widened at the tall ceilings, comfortable-looking furniture and roaring fireplaces. Pillows and blankets were everywhere, and the scent of something cooking had my stomach tightening, but I wasn’t positive if that was hunger or nausea from portaling. The woman spoke directly while leading me towards a massive staircase. “My name is Alexa, Gray didn’t give me your name, but I received quick notice we would be having a guest, so I assumed she’d sent you. What’s your name?”

  “We?” I asked confused before I shook my head. “Sorry, it’s Maize. I didn’t mean to be rude…I’m having an odd night.”

  She nodded as we walked up the steps. “I live here with my two sons and husband, I am the estate manager, but they run the lands surrounding it.” The thought of family had a dull, hollow feeling radiating in my chest. I couldn’t believe I’d shown Charm my desire so openly. I think I’d been waiting for him to fuck shit up, but instead he’d made me feel as though what I wanted wasn’t stupid.

  “Where are we?” I whispered.

  “North Dakota, a tiny little town about ten miles away and nothing else in sight.” She offered peace as we walked down a hall, passed closed doors, and finally came to a large suite at the end of the hallway. My eyebrows went up as she walked into the room, the cream and gold color bedding, cozy fireplace and couch that made me immediately feel at home. Feeling relaxed. Alexa began explaining that there were clothes in the closet and that if I wanted I could take one of the horses out tomorrow on the ranch. I loved that idea until it was spoiled thinking about how I’d left my bow and arrow, the gift from Gray, at the academy. If, of course, it hadn’t been destroyed.

  “Thank you,” I offered softly as she nodded and turned to leave, closing the door behind her. I stared at the door for a few seconds in thought and appreciation that Gray would give this to me. Although, I was finding myself thankful that she’d offered me that secondary portal because this hollow feeling in my chest was growing larger.

  But I knew I shouldn’t. I just needed to stay away for a few days, then it wouldn’t hurt as much. I wasn’t dumb. I obviously had started to feel something for the others…Maddox and Chait felt far more like heart-break. I stilled at that thought and realized that the idea of never seeing the two of them again had me feeling dizzy. I tried to clear my head. Shrugged off my jacket and dimmed the lights. Not now. Tomorrow. I could think about it all tomorrow.

  This space was what I had needed. Just a tiny bit of space. Just some breathing room. That’s all this was, because if I considered the implication of never seeing them ever again.. Well, it started to feel like something was devouring me inside out.

  Walking towards the window, I stood to examine the massive property we were on as snow began to twirl quietly from the sky. This type of peace was damn therapeutic. I turned towards the attached bathroom and stripped, smiling at the shower they had. A glass square box with a million jets that had me sighing in relief as I stood underneath the rain-like water stream. My body warmed, and as I stood there for nearly an hour, my mind, without permission, went towards my boys.

  No. Not my boys.

  My body didn’t agree with that and I groaned, hating that even while not around, they could affect me. I shivered, thinking about Maddox’s lips on me. But not just his…there were so many images going through my head, and I could feel myself getting wet as my nipples tightened.

  I shouldn’t be getting off on men I couldn’t risk thinking about.

  That didn’t stop me from rubbing my clit and slipping a finger inside of myself, whimpering at the fantasy of one of them behind me in this very shower, sliding into me as I gripped the tiled wall. Each of them taking turns with me in a … is there a word for an 8-some? Almost like a fucking hair trigger, I let out a muffled cry as a small climax rolled over my skin, providing only a little relief. Not nearly as much as they could, no doubt…shit, I needed to stop. Of course, my sexual drive didn’t, and hadn’t, agreed since we met them. It was like we had forgotten we could get turned on, but the minute I had locked eyes with Maddox and Chait almost a year ago… I knew that time was over. Ever since I’d been at the academy, I’d rarely gotten alone time, but at the castle when I couldn’t fall asleep…I could admit to having spent quite a few nights, as in most, thinking about what it would feel like to be surrounded by Chait and Maddox. Their hands everywhere and lips trailing my skin.

  Telling myself that would be the last time that I thought about them like that, I stepped from the shower and dried off. I ran my fingers over the scars on my wrist and the odd texture of them. When I was done, I brushed out my hair and then my teeth before making my way towards the large closet to easily find a dresser with shorts and t-shirts in them. I locked the door and crawled into bed, the night collapsing over me.

  I’d slept nearly without nightmares the night before and woke up feeling oddly refreshed. So much so, that I’d found myself exploring the estate while drinking a cup of coffee Alexa had offered me while introducing Cal, her husband. The gruff man, who legitimately had a cowboy hat on, shook my hand and told me that I could go down to the stables to get one of the horses out since their sons would be cleaning them out today anyway. So I had.

  Well, first I’d changed into fleece-lined pants and riding gear that was good for this weather. My hair had waved a bit in sleep and laid around my face as I walked toward the barn that was absolutely massive. My first thought had been, I guess they had a lot of horses?

  “We train and house them for others that live around here,” a gruff voice had me turning, realizing I’d said that out loud. I offered a small smile to a human male that looked over me curiously before meeting my gaze again. “I am guessing you aren’t Gray?”

  “You’ve never met her?” I asked curiously. “But no, I’m not. My name is Maize.”

  Much like his father, he was a big guy with warm eyes and a thick dark beard. In human years I would put him around twenty-five maybe? Something about the man made me smile, though, sort of like the Smith twins. My chest clenched. Two more people I would never see again.

  “Name’s Fred. Have you ever ridden before?” he asked as I followed him down towards the barn. The man was very much all business. I liked that about him.

  “Yes,” I nodded because that was an understatement.

  His eyes narrowed slightly, and I smiled wondering why he didn’t believe me. Music played as a voice sang to a song I didn’t recognize. I did laugh as we came to a guy that was nearly the same size as Fred, but far more playful, dancing and singing as he pointed at one of the horses. At the sound of my laugh, he whipped around, turning bright pink.

  Fred shook his head, “Maize, this is my younger brother Mikey.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I offered as he shut off the music and offered a hand.

  “You wanted to ride?” Mikey asked eagerly.

  “I don’t know the area well, but I thought it would be fun.” Which I needed. When was the last time I’d done something for pure enjoyment? My thoughts instantly flashed to several incidents in the past few days that I could consider.

  “I’ll take her out on the trail,” Fred offered and looked around. “This first section is all owned by Gray, pick anyone you want.”

 

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