Mads love, p.20
Mad's Love, page 20
part #2 of Raunchy Series
“Fuck are you doing in here? You got your daughter out there worried like shit about you.” He grabbed me by my arm and my stitches felt itchy.
Damn, this nigga could fuck up a wet dream. “Jace, please.” I said snatching away from him to walk around him. “I done told you already that you not my father.”
I was almost away from him when he grabbed my arm, sniffed and said, “Hold up, you been drinking?”
“Jace, don’t be ridiculous.”
He tried to go into the bathroom but if he did he would see four empty bottles sitting in the sink. “What are you doing?” I said blocking his path.
“You were in there drinking wasn’t you?” He yelled. “You so fucking reckless! Damn!”
“Please stop it, Jace! You doing too much.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! You just got out of the hospital and you up to your old shit already. I mean, are you that fucked up in the head?”
The way he yelled at me told me he still felt something for me. “I haven’t been drinking, Jace. Okay?”
“So what you in here for?”
“I came to get some Tylenol.”
“You got a pharmacy bag full of hard hitting drugs out there, and you wanna get some Tylenol?”
“It’s my life! Not yours.”
“Where the Tylenol?”
“What?”
“Show me the fucking Tylenol.”
“I didn’t get a chance to buy it, Jace. I had to go to the bathroom.”
“Okay, give me my money and go to the car. I’ma get the Tylenol for you.”
“I’ll do it, Jace! Damn!”
“Bitch, give me my fucking money.”
I dug in my pocket and handed him about eighty-six dollars and some change. He put the shit in his pocket and frowned.
“I knew you were a lying ass bitch.”
“Fuck you.”
“Listen, I don’t give a fuck about you no more. But I’m in my daughter’s life, and for whatever reason she loves you more than anything. But, bitch I will kill you before I let you fuck her up more than I’m sure you already have. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, Jace. I understand.”
This is why I hated Jayden. She took my life and now my fucking man. And no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get nobody to understand my point of view. I was always blamed for shit and it wasn’t fair.
“Now either you come on, or you getting left.” He paused. “It don’t make me no never mind.”
JAYDEN
CONTROL YOUR BITCHES
Friendly High School hallways were crowded with teenagers when Jayden walked in with her Gucci purse. She hadn’t been to school in days, but after talking to Harmony she realized that if she didn’t go back, the social worker would come snooping around the house again and she could possibly be placed in a foster home.
A lot of things plagued her young mind these days. Like the fact that her mother was almost murdered, her sister may have been responsible and that her friend Passion, who was also her bottom bitch wasn’t answering her calls. Thirteen Flavors was starting to be a big waste of time because she couldn’t control her girls long enough for them to be consistent.
She reached her locker and was entering her combination when Xion walked up behind her, put his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder.
“Hey, you.” He said rocking with her. She could smell the scent of Double Mint gum in his mouth.
She smiled, turned around and looked into his eyes. “No…hey you.”
They kissed each other before separating. “I ain’t think you still went here no more, ma.”
“Well you thought wrong.” She laughed, turning around to open her locker. She grabbed her book and her book bag. She faced him again. “Anything new happening?”
“The same old.” Then he paused. “But I wish I was making money.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Were you able to talk to your father about me?”
“Not really. I’ma do it though. My moms been sick and she’s our focus right now.”
“When you gonna holla at him, babes? I need to make money now.”
“I wish you stop asking me that shit! You gotta give me a chance to…”
Her sentence was cut short when she saw Shaggy rushing up to them in the hallway. The way he looked, you would’ve thought he caught them cheating. His brows creased the closer he got to her. She hadn’t seen him since he put her out of the hotel and she didn’t want to see him now.
“So ya’ll still trying to throw this shit up in my face?”
Teenagers looked at the scene in the hallway and this made Jayden angry. It was tough enough going to school, she certainly didn’t need to be getting in trouble or causing a scene.
“Throw what shit in your face?” Xion asked stepping closer to him.
“The fact that I cleaned this bitch up and now you with her.” He was about to swing on him when Jayden blocked him.
“Why you tripping all of a sudden, Shaggy? Me and you were never together.”
“Bitch, don’t fucking act like you ain’t know what time it was. Now you think you gonna run around school with this dude. I should…”
“Hold up,” Xion said putting his hand out to prevent him from getting any closer to Jayden. “I ain't about to let you touch her.”
“Nigga, did you just put your hands on me?” Shaggy frowned knocking him up against the locker. “You must’ve lost your mothafuckin’ mind.”
“Stop it, Shaggy! Fuck is wrong with you?” Jayden asked stepping in the middle of them both.
“If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be looking like you do! Now you posted up in the hallway with this nigga?”
When the principal walked in their direction, Jayden got nervous. Most of the crowd broke and Jayden was trying to think quick. After stabbing Toni and her friends she was trying to remain low key because the principal made it known that if she got in trouble again she would be expelled. Grabbing Shaggy’s hand she said, “Come with me so we can talk in private.”
“Fuck you talking about?” Xion asked. “This nigga tripping and you want to go with him?”
Jayden pointed down the hall at Mrs. Crimply who was moving closer. “I can’t get into trouble again, Xi. Give me a second to talk to him. I’ma call you later I promise.”
Shaggy was now so mad he was pacing. When Xion walked away after one last frown, Jayden and Shaggy dipped into an empty classroom. When the door was closed she peeked out the rectangular window on the door. She didn’t relax until she saw Mrs. Crimply’s cotton ball hairstyle walking past the classroom. When she was out of sight Jayden turned her attention to Shaggy.
“What is wrong with you?” She asked stepping up to him.
“I told you what the fuck is up with me.”
Jayden not feeling his answer, pushed him into a desk. “You could’ve gotten me in trouble!”
“Don’t push me again, Jay. Because the way I feel right now I could fuck you up in here.”
“Can you tell me what’s wrong with you all of a sudden? And why were you at the hospital with Passion that night?”
“She called me.” He paused. “Said she needed a ride. Now why you fucking with this dude?”
Jayden was confused. Not only was Shaggy acting in a way he never had before, he was acting as if he wasn’t the one who told her over and over that he was not her man. Yet here he was, trying to check her about a dude who offered to help her when she needed him the most.
“We not together, Shaggy. We never were! So why you tripping now is beyond me.” Then she put her purse down on the desk next to him and said, “You wanted it this way remember?”
“You know how I felt about you.”
“How? You told me everyday you came into that hotel room that I wasn’t your girl. And I respected that each time.”
“That’s because you had a lot on your mind. And I ain’t wanna put more on you by trying to fuck you.”
She frowned. “So in order for us to be together we gotta fuck?”
“Stop playing with me.” He smirked. “If a nigga do for you what I did for you, he wanna fuck.” He paused. “The first time I break my rule to always fuck first, I get carried.”
“Then if you didn’t get the pussy that was your fault. Because I damn sure got the money.”
His jaw flexed. “So you fucking Xion?”
“I haven’t fucked nobody yet.”
Shaggy smiled a little and said, “Then why he doing all this shit for you? I heard he put you up in his aunt’s house and everything.”
“The same reason you did.” She said slyly. “He looking out.”
Silence.
“I don’t want you hanging with him no more. He think it’s funny that I backed you financially and now you look the way you do. If anything you owe me that. I was there for you when nobody was.”
“I’m not property, Shaggy.” As if she remembered something she said, “Hold up…were you the one playing on my phone?”
Silence.
“I knew you were!” she continued. “Stay the fuck away from me! Or else!”
Angry he couldn’t break her, he hog spit in her Gucci purse. Her eyes widened and she smacked him in the face.
“Why you do that nasty shit?!” She yelled looking in her bag. Spit rested on her shades. “That was so fucking gross!”
“I bought it for you so I can do whatever I want to it.”
She took her cell phone and wallet carefully out of her purse, trying not to get the phlegm on her hand. When she got what she wanted, she left it on the desk.
“If you think just because you gave me that purse you control me, you can carry it yourself, faggy ass nigga. Because I’m my own person now and a long way from the broke bitch you met at McDonald’s. So fuck off!”
When she walked out of the room her phone rang and she saw it was Olive. It was ironic that she called the moment she went in on her friend Shaggy in the classroom. Stomping down the hallway she decided to answer the phone.
“Hello.” She said holding the cell to her ear.
“Oh, my God. You answered.” Olive joked.
“Yeah, I just had a problem with your friend.”
“Well what you doing now? Trying to get high and talk about it?”
Realizing she couldn’t sit in class all day without being angry she said, “Yeah. It’s Friday anyway so I might as well start the week off fresh Monday. I’m on my way.”
Over Olive’s
Jayden was lying on Olive’s bed with her smoking weed. They were face up looking at the blue-sky mural that Olive had painted on her ceiling. Jayden forgot all about how good weed made her feel because she hadn’t had any since she met Olive.
“So what’s up?” Olive said looking at her. “You look like you got a lot on your mind.”
“A lot of shit is up.”
“Did things get better back at your house?”
“Not even close. My mother was almost killed and my sister hasn’t been home in weeks. Stuff just seems to be falling apart.”
“What you gonna do?”
“Take one day at a time I guess.”
“Anything else bothering you?”
“Yeah…my friend Passion been tripping too.”
“How?”
“Well I gave her some money so she’d do some things for me. Now that she got the money she ain’t been doing shit and she ain’t answering my calls. Her or her friends.”
“You gave all of them money?”
“Yeah. It was a strange arrangement but they broke it.”
Olive rolled over on her side and said, “Next time don’t give a bitch shit until after the work is done.” She said. “That’s rule number one in the game. Any game.”
Jayden took notes. “I guess you’re right.”
“I know I’m right.” She paused. “Now what’s up with you and Shaggy? Why you guys beefing?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
“Naw, ever since Toni and them came into his mother’s party on some bullshit, he been mad with me. That’s why I don’t fuck with them bitches right now.”
“Really? I thought ya’ll were close.”
“Who?”
“You and Toni.”
“Not really. She mad because I told her even if she was beefing with you, I wasn’t getting involved and that she should’ve never carried shit like that over Shaggy’s house.” Then she paused and said, “So why are you and Shaggy not talking?”
“I don’t know. I mean…for the longest he kept telling me he didn’t want a relationship, so I didn’t press him. And then out of nowhere, he puts me out of the hotel he was paying for just because I hung out with Xion one night.”
“You hung out with Xion?”
“Yeah.”
Olive shook her head. “You know you can’t do no shit like that, Jayden. That boy was feeling you.”
“I don’t understand.” Jayden frowned. “He kept telling me he wasn’t my boyfriend and that he didn’t want a girl. How was I wrong?”
“Jayden,” Olive said playing with a few strands of Jayden’s hair, “boys do stuff like that all the time. But you gotta know when they feeling you despite what they say outta their mouths. Girl, if every bitch took what a nigga said at face value all the time nobody would be in a relationship. Or procreate!!! Shaggy the type of nigga who wanna know you want him!”
Olive stared in Jayden’s eyes seductively and it made her uncomfortable. She’d seen Harmony look at men like that so she was pretty sure what it meant. “Olive, I gotta tell you something.”
“What’s up?” She smiled.
“Uh…I’m not like that.” She said softly. “I mean, I like when you touch my hair and talk to me real nice, but I’m not into girls. Will never be in to girls.”
Olive released her hair strands and laughed. “If you took it the wrong way by me playing with your hair, I see you don’t know how to read women or men.”
Jayden smiled from embarrassment, “I guess not.”
“Don’t worry, Jayden, I’m not into women either.” She paused. “At least not anymore. I use to be but they too much trouble and keep up too much shit.” Then she played with Jayden’s hair again. “And I touch you because I think you’re pretty and I think you need it from me.”
“Need what?”
“Love. Attention. All that.” Olive shrugged.
Jayden stood up. “I’ma call a cab.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Naw…I think its time for me to go. I’m high enough as it is.” Jayden made the call and sat in a chair within the room.
“What is wrong with you, Jayden? You different from anybody I ever met before and that makes you unique. Because I’ve met a lot of people.” She paused. “But, don’t you want people to love you?”
“No! I don’t want love anymore. I use to.”
Olive sat up straight in the bed and said, “Why not? Without love you might as well die.”
“I can’t love. If I love, and it’s taken from me, I don’t know how I would react at this point in my life. I just wanna make money and take care of myself. I don’t want people promising to do stuff for me and taking it back. I don’t want to depend on anybody.”
“Your life must’ve been some shit.” Olive said shaking her head. Then she got up and stood in front of her. “But if you gonna live, Jayden, you gotta learn to love and let people love you back. I’m just letting you know.” Then Olive popped an ecstasy pill and smiled. “God is love.”
“Fuck God!” Jayden spat, forcing Olive’s eyes wide open. “I use to pray for God every night when I was a kid. I prayed that he’d love me and prayed that he’d take care of me and my sister when our mother burned us with irons, but it never happened. So God can’t do shit for me but stay the fuck out my way.”
Her anger startled Olive. “You more fucked up than I thought.” When Olive’s phone rang she left Jayden where she stood to answer it. Looking at the number she said, “Hey, Shaggy.” She saw Jayden’s expression change at the mentioning of his name. “Yeah I’m home.” She paused. “You’re here?” She paused again. “Alright, let me open the door for you.”
When she hung up she looked at Jayden. “That was Shaggy. He called out of the blue and is at the door.”
Jayden got her phone and her wallet. “I’m ‘bout to leave.” She heard a horn and looked out the window. Her cab was there. “My ride here anyway. I’ma talk to you later.”
“Okay, but make sure you call me, girl. I don’t like the way this conversation between us ended.”
“Aight…I’ll hit you later.”
Jayden hoped she’d be able to leave without running into Shaggy but when Olive opened the door Shaggy was there and he had Passion by his side.
MAD
THE BONDTHAT DOESN’T BREAK
Me and all of my friends were on the Washington DC subway’s (Metro) red line for over two hours, just riding it back and forth like we always did when we were bored. I was trying to feel them out. See if anything changed since my father came to the hotel and got rid of Amber’s body. I could always tell when something was up because we were all quiet. But that wasn’t the case. We talked about stuff, like we always did still, something felt off. I felt like after I killed Amber that now they held something over my head and I had nothing over theirs. That would have to change.
“What’s your worst fear?” Wokie asked me.
We were sitting on the metro in our seats in a way that we could all see each other. Our backs leaned against the windows and our feet pointed toward the aisle. The five of us were taking up full seats so that no one could sit next to us. Sugar kept looking at me. In a way that made me nervous. Then she’d look at Krazy, Wokie and Kid, and I knew they held a secret behind my back. What was it?
“I don’t know. I don’t have no fear.” I told them.
They all looked at me. “Well she did kill somebody.” Sugar said. “So we got to believe when she say she not scared of nothing.”
“Why you being all hot?” I asked, sipping the Henny I poured in a Coke bottle earlier. There were two more bottles of Henny in my bag ready to go.
“We all got fears.” Wokie said. “I don’t care what she say.”
