The assignment, p.16
The Assignment, page 16
There was nothing I wanted more than to be on top right now, looking at his face. “I would love to ride your cock, Serrano.”
He made a guttural sound. “That’s the dirtiest thing to ever come out of your mouth. And I’m here for it.”
Troy stroked himself a few times before reaching into his bedside table for a condom. He sheathed himself in a flash.
Positioning myself over him, I sank slowly down until he was fully inside. Troy grabbed my sides as I bucked my hips.
He panted. “Look at you, riding me in my shirt. I want to burn this into my memory. Pretty sure this might be the best moment of my life.” He smiled. “You are so fucking beautiful, Aspyn Dumont.”
After a couple of minutes, I got hot, so I slipped the shirt over my head. My breasts bounced as Troy reached up to squeeze them.
“I’ve missed these beautiful tits.” He groaned.
As I swayed my hips over him, I felt his balls at my ass. I gripped the hard muscles of his chest and dug my nails into his skin, the pleasure of him so deep inside me almost too much to bear. Troy began to thrust his hips upward to meet my movements, and he kept his gaze fixed on me. Then he pushed even deeper inside of me. My clit pressed harder against him, and I suddenly felt my orgasm ricochet through my body.
“I’m coming,” I gasped.
“Yes, I know.” He smiled. “I can feel it.”
This was the first time I’d lost control before he did.
He shut his eyes tightly as his mouth dropped open. His body shook under me as we came together.
Wow.
Every time with Troy was better than the last.
Utterly sated, I collapsed onto him. He kissed my head softly. I almost wished he didn’t do stuff like that, because whenever he was gentle with me, it made me want…more. And I knew I couldn’t set that expectation.
He slipped out from under me to discard the condom before returning to the bed. He pulled me back over to lie on top of him again. Resting my head on his chest, I felt his heartbeat thundering against my cheek. I didn’t want to leave. I had no idea whether he planned to take me home or what, but I knew I was happy here. And I wanted to stay the night. But I wasn’t going to be the first person to suggest that.
A minute later, I felt something heavy land on my back. I flinched, and it took me a bit to realize it was Patrick.
“Shit. I’m sorry,” Troy said. “I’ll get him off.”
“No.” I laughed. “It’s okay. He can stay.”
“You’re okay with him on your back? He might never get up, you know.”
“Yeah, it’s fine. It kind of feels…nice. The purring vibration. He’s sort of like a weighted blanket.”
He flashed a beautiful smile, and that was the last thing I remembered as I drifted off to sleep—on top of Troy with a cat on my back. Kind of an odd threesome, if you ask me.
• • •
The following day, after we’d finally rolled out of bed after all the sex we had again this morning, Troy and I went out for a nice breakfast in Meadowbrook Center. While we waited for our food, he showed me some photos his dad had sent from Europe. I vowed to save enough money to take my own trip overseas someday. Staying in Meadowbrook was one thing, but never getting to experience the world at all wasn’t an option.
The cool September breeze was a welcome addition to our outdoor meal. It really didn’t get any better than this.
After breakfast, he came back to my place, and we chilled for a bit in my yard. It was the epitome of a lazy Saturday. Neither one of us acknowledged that all this time we were spending together was a clear violation of the sex-with-no-strings precedent we’d discussed early on. And I certainly wasn’t going to acknowledge that the way Troy looked at me all day today made my heart do crazy stuff.
At one point, I left the yard to go inside and make us coffees. Even though I’d told him to wait outside, Troy must have gotten antsy because he soon joined me in the kitchen.
He placed my phone next to me on the counter. “You got a message.”
“I did?”
“Your phone lit up outside. I looked over at it because I thought it was mine. We have the same notification sound, apparently. You got a message through the app.”
He was referring to the dating app. My stomach sank as I looked down and saw a message from a guy I’d chatted with earlier this week.
Sorry for the delay in responding. I was offline to take care of some family stuff. Would you want to meet up for drinks tonight?
Shit. I’d gotten a message this past Thursday from a guy I’d matched with before Troy and I first hooked up. I’d casually responded, though I had no intention of meeting up with him now. But I could understand how this looked—like I was actively pursuing someone else. Not that Troy and I had any kind of formal exclusivity agreement, but it was still sucky that he had to see this, especially when it didn’t mean anything. I’d just responded to the guy so as not to be rude.
His tone was bitter. “Maybe you should meet him.”
“I don’t want to meet him.”
“But you were chatting with him. Why would you be chatting with him if you didn’t intend to meet him?” His nostrils flared. “What’s the point?”
“He and I matched before you and I started this…thing. We messaged briefly this past week, but nothing came of it, nor had I planned for anything to happen with him.”
Troy just kept nodding and looked away. “Wow.”
“What?”
“I don’t like how I reacted just now.” He shook his head, seeming dazed. “Like a fucking jealous bastard.” His expression was sincere. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t have been upset at you. We’re not exclusive, right? I have no right to question anything.”
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “I would’ve felt the same way if the roles were reversed.”
Troy blinked, not seeming to have absorbed what I’d just said. “You know what?” He walked over to the end table by the front door and grabbed his keys. “I’m gonna take a drive.”
My eyes widened. “Where are you going?”
“Just for a ride.” He opened the door. “I’ll be back.”
He exited faster than I could even think to try to stop him. When the door shut behind him, the silence was deafening.
Feeling terrible, I didn’t quite know what to do with myself after he left. I kept wondering what the hell was going on in his head and what had compelled him to leave so suddenly. Was he that upset that I’d been chatting with another guy? Or was there something more to his reaction?
Two hours passed, and Troy still hadn’t returned. I must have cleaned my house three times over in an attempt to calm my nerves. I wasn’t sure if he was ever coming back.
At nearly 5 PM, I’d almost given up hope of his return when the doorbell rang.
I rushed to the door and opened it.
With his hands in his pockets, Troy flashed a hesitant smile. “Hey…”
“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming back.” I moved out of the way to let him in.
“I took a long drive,” he said.
“For two hours?”
“Yup.”
“Where did you go?”
“Nowhere really. I took back roads, traveling south. Listened to music.”
I pulled at the material of his shirt. “Troy, look—”
“No…” he interrupted, placing his hand over mine. “You don’t owe me any explanation, Aspyn. Forget anything you planned to say to me when I came back. I’m the one who needs to explain.” He inched closer so that he was right in front of me. “I was caught off guard by my reaction to that guy texting you. It made me realize that my feelings for you are stronger than I’d thought. I was overwhelmed by that and didn’t know how to express what I was feeling, so I left to clear my head.”
My heart pounded against my chest. “Did it help?”
“Somewhat.” He cupped my cheek. “Aspyn, I don’t know what’s going on between us or where it’s leading. But I do know that the thought of you with someone else right now makes me sick to my stomach.”
I swallowed. “Noted.”
“I needed to make sure I understood myself before I came back here to explain. The more I drove, the clearer it became.” He spoke over my lips. “I don’t want to share.”
His mouth enveloped mine. My legs felt weak as my body melted into his. He grabbed my ass and squeezed it hard, almost possessively, as our tongues collided. I reached up and ran my hands through his silky hair, relishing his taste, and once again wondering what the hell I was supposed to do about my undeniable feelings for this man.
He broke the kiss. “As long as we’re doing this, no other people, okay?” He looked deeply into my eyes. “Unless that’s not what you want?”
“I haven’t thought about anyone else for a long time,” I admitted. “Yes, I responded to that guy’s message. I felt like I needed to keep my options open, even though I had no intention of meeting up with him while we were spending time together.” I sighed. “But I’m confused, Troy. Because this is temporary, isn’t it? That’s been my understanding this entire time. You’re leaving. I’ve been trying not to get my heart involved based on that assumption.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “That was my plan before I realized I had these feelings. Maybe we should just…see where things go? Not label it, but not close the door either. Right now I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else.”
I stepped back. “So, you’re saying this is more than just a physical thing for you?”
“Did today not prove that? I have genuine feelings for you, Aspyn. I don’t only want to fuck you. I want to date you.” He looked down at his feet. “But at the same time, I don’t want to make promises when I don’t have much experience with monogamous relationships.”
“Have you ever been monogamous?”
He took my hand. “Let’s sit.” Troy led me to the couch. “I had one serious relationship after grad school when I first moved out to Seattle,” he began. “I never cheated on her, but I also didn’t feel like she was the one. Sarah ended up getting a job out of state, and when I convinced her to take it without suggesting we try a long-distance relationship, things ended. But that relationship hadn’t even lasted a year.” He searched my eyes. “What about you? When was your last relationship?”
I twisted my ring. “I went through a rough patch after my sister died. So, it took me a while to be in the mental state for a commitment with someone. In the past seven years or so I’ve only had two boyfriends. But I was with one of them—the most recent one—for three years. It ended a year ago.”
“Who was he?”
“His name is Holden. He admitted to me once that he’d almost cheated on me, but he stopped it before anything happened. I would rather someone break up with me than have to stop themselves from cheating. Because of what I’ve witnessed my whole life—with my mother continually taking my unfaithful father back—I didn’t want to take that chance. So, I was the one who ended things with him before he could inevitably screw up again.”
“That’s fucked up that he admitted that, but I guess it’s good that he did. What an asshole, though.”
“What really stunk was that Kiki was pretty attached to him. I think she was one of the main reasons I kept him around as long as I did, despite my doubts.”
He blew out a breath. “I hadn’t even thought about how any relationship you have will inevitably affect her. You’re amazing for all the responsibility you’ve taken on.” Troy brushed his finger along my cheek. “I’m gonna be real with you, Aspyn. I don’t feel worthy of your time.”
I placed my hand over his. “Why would you say that?”
“I don’t know. It just came out.”
“Why don’t you feel worthy?”
Troy stared off. “I think it goes back to childhood. When I was a teenager, my mommy issues translated into anger or acting out. But as I get older, I focus less on the fact that she left and more on the deeper meaning behind why she left. The only conclusion I ever come to is that…I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t worthy of her love. That feeling, whether true or not, makes me feel unworthy of almost anything that might bring joy to my life.” He paused to look over at me. “Right now, the joy in my life is you.”
Wrapping my hands around his face, I brought his lips into mine and kissed them firmly. I pulled back to look at him. “I don’t know if you’re right for me, Troy, or where this is going to lead. I don’t even know if I should trust you. But one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that you are most definitely worthy of joy, love, and everything this life has to offer.” I paused. “Your mother made a mistake. And I’m sure she died with regret, even if she never admitted it to you. I’m sorry that her decision makes you doubt everything. But never doubt that you’re worthy.”
He kissed my forehead and whispered, “Thank you.”
Troy and I spent the rest of the weekend together. And this marked an unofficial shift in our relationship, when Troy Serrano somehow morphed from fuckboy to boyfriend.
Troy
Another weekend gone, and the waiting game to see Aspyn began once again.
The past few days had gone nothing like I’d anticipated. I hadn’t been prepared for my flood gates to open so easily at the first threat of a little competition. I might have been experienced when it came to sex, but I sure as hell wasn’t experienced when it came to dealing with actual feelings for someone.
As much as that car ride had helped me hone in on what was really bothering me—that I didn’t want to share her—I was still no closer to knowing if I was right for her, or whether I should continue to lead her on by messing with her feelings.
I didn’t usually talk to my grandfather about my personal life in any great detail. But today I paid a special visit to ask him for some guidance.
Aspyn had mentioned that she was taking some of the residents shopping on Monday afternoon, so I stopped by on my lunch break when I knew she wouldn’t be here. I didn’t want to be distracted. As much as I wanted to see her beautiful face, that’s not what this visit was about.
My grandfather was sitting up in bed watching Dr. Phil when I walked in.
“Hey, Nonno.”
He straightened his back. “I was wondering if I was gonna see you today. You never brought me a donut yesterday.”
“I’m sorry about that. I was a little distracted this weekend.” I sat down in the chair across from him. “Actually, I was hoping to get your input on something.”
“Is this about Aspyn?”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Why would you think that?”
“Like I’ve told you before, I may be old, but I ain’t blind yet. Every time she walks in the room, you light up. Then there was that little guitar performance of yours. Are you kidding me? Come on. Since when do you play the guitar in public? Who do you think you are, Eddie Van Halen? Looked to me like you were looking for any opportunity to be around her.”
I picked some lint off my jeans. “Yeah. I guess it’s obvious.”
He smirked. “Might she be the reason I didn’t see you this weekend?”
“She might.”
“It’s about time you see some action, Troy. I was beginning to think you and that cat had something going on.”
Yawning, I rubbed my eyes. Good sleep had continued to evade me lately, at least whenever I wasn’t lying next to her.
He shook his head. “You got it that bad, huh?”
“I’m really into her, yeah, but I don’t know what to do about it.”
“What’s there to wonder about? You have to please her if you want her to keep you around. Keep her happy. Keep her satisfied. Your grandmother never wanted for anything, and I’m not talking about money.”
I held my palms up. “I don’t need to know about the various ways you pleased Nonna. Keep that shit to yourself, for Christ’s sake.”
“I’m not just talking about sex, ya pighead. I’m talking about making her feel like she’s the most important person in the world, that she’s safe with you. That’s how you keep a woman.”
“Therein lies the problem. She’s not necessarily safe with me. I have a horrible track record with her, going back to high school. And a horrible track record with women, in general.”
He smacked his hand against the side table. “Well, then I’d say you’re due for a change.”
“I’m only supposed to be passing through town. I wasn’t planning on developing feelings for someone that would require me to stay in Meadowbrook.”
“You just wanted to boink her and didn’t expect things to develop? You’re not a kid anymore, Troy. And I think you knew from the beginning that she’s not the type of girl you boink once and forget about. She’s special, that one. A real woman. Like your grandmother.”
“Exactly. She’s a real woman. And that’s why I don’t know if she should be wasting her time with me. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Why do you need to hurt her? You’re writing the ending to the story before it even really begins. Maybe take your time seeing where things go before you draw conclusions. You’re living in the future, not the present.”
“She’s been nearly cheated on by an ex—possibly actually cheated on without her knowledge. And she knows I cheated on her friend back in high school. How the hell do I get her to trust me?”
“You become someone worthy of trust.” Nonno adjusted his blanket over his legs. “Let me ask you something. Do you think you’re still a cheater? If so, maybe you should leave this girl alone.”
If I really looked inside myself, I knew I would never hurt Aspyn in that way. “I would never cheat on her, but how do I get her to believe that?”
“It takes work and time, son. But just as important as earning her trust is keeping a woman happy.” He grinned like a Cheshire cat. “I have some secrets in that regard.”
I arched a brow. “Really. And you’ve been holding out on me?”
“Get a pen and paper. There’re five of ’em, and I want you to write them down.”
