Comedy of errors, p.11
Comedy of Errors, page 11
SECOND MERCHANT
I dare, and do defy thee for a villain.
They draw
Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the COURTESAN and others
ADRIANA
Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake. He is mad.—
Some get within him; take his sword away.
35
Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house!
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Run, master, run. For God’s sake, take a house.
This is some priory. In, or we are spoiled.
Exeunt ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE to the priory
Enter the Lady ABBESS
ABBESS
Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?
ADRIANA
To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.
40
Let us come in, that we may bind him fast
And bear him home for his recovery.
ANGELO
I knew he was not in his perfect wits.
SECOND MERCHANT
I am sorry now that I did draw on him.
ABBESS
How long hath this possession held the man?
ADRIANA
45
This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad,
And much different from the man he was.
But till this afternoon his passion
Ne’er brake into extremity of rage.
ABBESS
Hath he not lost much wealth by wrack of sea?
50
Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye
Stray’d his affection in unlawful love,
A sin prevailing much in youthful men
Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing?
Which of these sorrows is he subject to?
ADRIANA
55
To none of these, except it be the last,
Namely, some love that drew him oft from home.
ABBESS
You should for that have reprehended him.
ADRIANA
Why, so I did.
ABBESS
Ay, but not rough enough.
ADRIANA
As roughly as my modesty would let me.
ABBESS
60
Haply in private.
ADRIANA
And in assemblies too.
ABBESS
Ay, but not enough.
ADRIANA
It was the copy of our conference.
In bed he slept not for my urging it;
At board he fed not for my urging it.
65
Alone, it was the subject of my theme;
In company I often glancèd it.
Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.
ABBESS
And thereof came it that the man was mad.
The venom clamors of a jealous woman
70
Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.
It seems his sleeps were hinder’d by thy railing,
And therefore comes it that his head is light.
Thou sayst his meat was sauced with thy upbraidings.
Unquiet meals make ill digestions.
75
Thereof the raging fire of fever bred,
And what’s a fever but a fit of madness?
Thou sayest his sports were hinderd by thy brawls.
Sweet recreation barred, what doth ensue
But moody and dull melancholy,
80
Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair,
And at her heels a huge infectious troop
Of pale distemperatures and foes to life?
In food, in sport, and life-preserving rest
To be disturbed, would mad or man or beast.
85
The consequence is, then, thy jealous fits
Have scared thy husband from the use of wits.
LUCIANA
She never reprehended him but mildly
When he demeaned himself rough, rude, and wildly.—
(to ADRIANA) Why bear you these rebukes and answer not?
ADRIANA
90
She did betray me to my own reproof.
Good people, enter and lay hold on him.
ABBESS
No, not a creature enters in my house.
ADRIANA
Then let your servants bring my husband forth.
ABBESS
Neither: he took this place for sanctuary,
95
And it shall privilege him from your hands
Till I have brought him to his wits again
Or lose my labor in assaying it.
ADRIANA
I will attend my husband, be his nurse,
Diet his sickness, for it is my office
100
And will have no attorney but myself;
And therefore let me have him home with me.
ABBESS
Be patient, for I will not let him stir
Till I have used the approvd means I have,
With wholesome syrups, drugs, and holy prayers,
105
To make of him a formal man again.
It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,
A charitable duty of my order.
Therefore depart and leave him here with me.
ADRIANA
I will not hence and leave my husband here;
110
And ill it doth beseem your holiness
To separate the husband and the wife.
ABBESS
Be quiet and depart. Thou shalt not have him.
Exit ABBESS
LUCIANA
Complain unto the Duke of this indignity.
ADRIANA
Come, go. I will fall prostrate at his feet
115
And never rise until my tears and prayers
Have won his grace to come in person hither
And take perforce my husband from the Abbess.
SECOND MERCHANT
By this, I think, the dial points at five.
Anon, I’m sure, the Duke himself in person
120
Comes this way to the melancholy vale,
The place of death and sorry execution
Behind the ditches of the abbey here.
ANGELO
Upon what cause?
SECOND MERCHANT
To see a reverend Syracusian merchant,
125
Who put unluckily into this bay
Against the laws and statutes of this town,
Beheaded publicly for his offense.
ANGELO
See where they come. We will behold his death.
LUCIANA
Kneel to the Duke before he pass the abbey.
Enter the DUKE OF EPHESUS and EGEON the merchant of Syracuse, bare head, with the headsman and other officers
DUKE
130
Yet once again proclaim it publicly,
If any friend will pay the sum for him,
He shall not die; so much we tender him.
ADRIANA
Justice, most sacred duke, against the Abbess.
DUKE
She is a virtuous and a reverend lady.
135
It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.
ADRIANA
May it please your Grace, Antipholus my husband,
Whom I made lord of me and all I had
At your important letters, this ill day
A most outrageous fit of madness took him,
140
That desp’rately he hurried through the street,
With him his bondman, all as mad as he,
Doing displeasure to the citizens
By rushing in their houses, bearing thence
Rings, jewels, any thing his rage did like.
145
Once did I get him bound and sent him home
Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went
That here and there his fury had committed.
Anon, I wot not by what strong escape,
He broke from those that had the guard of him,
150
And with his mad attendant and himself,
Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,
Met us again and, madly bent on us,
Chased us away, till, raising of more aid,
We came again to bind them. Then they fled
155
Into this abbey, whither we pursued them,
And here the Abbess shuts the gates on us
And will not suffer us to fetch him out,
Nor send him forth that we may bear him hence.
Therefore, most gracious duke, with thy command
160
Let him be brought forth and borne hence for help.
DUKE
Long since thy husband served me in my wars,
And I to thee engaged a prince’s word,
When thou didst make him master of thy bed,
To do him all the grace and good I could.
165
Go, some of you, knock at the abbey gate,
And bid the Lady Abbess come to me.
I will determine this before I stir.
Enter a MESSENGER
MESSENGER
O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself.
My master and his man are both broke loose,
170
Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the doctor,
Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire,
And ever as it blazed, they threw on him
Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair.
My master preaches patience to him, and the while
175
His man with scissors nicks him like a fool;
And sure, unless you send some present help,
Between them they will kill the conjurer.
ADRIANA
Peace, fool. Thy master and his man are here,
And that is false thou dost report to us.
MESSENGER
180
Mistress, upon my life I tell you true.
I have not breathed almost since I did see it.
He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you,
To scorch your face and to disfigure you.
Cry within
Hark, hark, I hear him, mistress. Fly, begone!
DUKE
185
Come, stand by me. Fear nothing.—Guard with halberds.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS and DROMIO OF EPHESUS
ADRIANA
Ay me, it is my husband. Witness you
That he is borne about invisible.
Even now we housed him in the abbey here,
And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
190
Justice, most gracious duke, O, grant me justice,
Even for the service that long since I did thee
When I bestrid thee in the wars and took
Deep scars to save thy life. Even for the blood
That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.
EGEON
195
(aside) Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,
I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there,
She whom thou gav’st to me to be my wife,
That hath abusèd and dishonored me
200
Even in the strength and height of injury.
Beyond imagination is the wrong
That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.
DUKE
Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me
205
While she with harlots feasted in my house.
DUKE
A grievous fault.—Say, woman, didst thou so?
ADRIANA
No, my good lord. Myself, he, and my sister
Today did dine together. So befall my soul
As this is false he burdens me withal.
LUCIANA
210
Ne’er may I look on day, nor sleep on night
But she tells to your Highness simple truth.
ANGELO
O perjured woman! —They are both forsworn.
In this the madman justly chargeth them.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
My liege, I am advisèd what I say,
215
Neither disturbed with the effect of wine,
Nor heady-rash, provoked with raging ire,
Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.
This woman locked me out this day from dinner.
That goldsmith there, were he not packed with her,
220
Could witness it, for he was with me then,
Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,
Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,
Where Balthasar and I did dine together.
Our dinner done and he not coming thither,
225
I went to seek him. In the street I met him,
And in his company that gentleman. (points to the SECOND MERCHANT)
There did this perjured goldsmith swear me down
That I this day of him received the chain,
Which, God he knows, I saw not; for the which
230
He did arrest me with an officer.
I did obey, and sent my peasant home
For certain ducats. He with none returned.
Then fairly I bespoke the officer
To go in person with me to my house.
235
By th’ way we met
My wife, her sister, and a rabble more
Of vile confederates. Along with them
They brought one Pinch, a hungry, lean-faced villain,
A mere anatomy, a mountebank,
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A threadbare juggler, and a fortune-teller,
A needy, hollow-eyed, sharp-looking wretch,
A living dead man. This pernicious slave,
Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer,
And, gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,
245
And with no face (as ’twere) outfacing me,
Cries out I was possessed. Then all together
They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence,
And in a dark and dankish vault at home
There left me and my man, both bound together,
250
Till gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,
I gained my freedom and immediately
Ran hither to your Grace, whom I beseech
To give me ample satisfaction
For these deep shames and great indignities.
ANGELO
255
My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him:
That he dined not at home, but was locked out.
DUKE
But had he such a chain of thee or no?
ANGELO
He had, my lord, and when he ran in here,
These people saw the chain about his neck.
SECOND MERCHANT
260
Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine
Heard you confess you had the chain of him
After you first forswore it on the mart,
And thereupon I drew my sword on you,
And then you fled into this abbey here,
265
From whence I think you are come by miracle.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I never came within these abbey walls,
Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me.
I never saw the chain, so help me heaven,
And this is false you burden me withal.
DUKE
270
Why, what an intricate impeach is this!
I think you all have drunk of Circe’s cup.
If here you housed him, here he would have been.
(to ADRIANA) If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly.
You say he dined at home; the goldsmith here
275
Denies that saying. Sirrah, what say you?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porpentine.
COURTESAN
He did, and from my finger snatched that ring.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
’Tis true, my liege; this ring I had of her.
DUKE
Saw’st thou him enter at the abbey here?
COURTESAN
280
As sure, my liege, as I do see your Grace.
DUKE
Why, this is strange.—Go call the Abbess hither.
I think you are all mated or stark mad.
Exit one to ABBESS
EGEON
Most mighty duke, vouchsafe me speak a word.
Haply I see a friend will save my life
285
And pay the sum that may deliver me.
DUKE
Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.
EGEON
(to ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS) Is not your name, sir, called Antipholus?
And is not that your bondman Dromio?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Within this hour I was his bondman sir,
290
But he, I thank him, gnawed in two my cords.
Now am I Dromio, and his man, unbound.
EGEON
I am sure you both of you remember me.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you.
For lately we were bound as you are now.
295
You are not Pinch’s patient, are you, sir?
EGEON
Why look you strange on me? You know me well.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I never saw you in my life till now.
EGEON
O, grief hath changed me since you saw me last,
And careful hours with time’s deformèd hand
300
Have written strange defeatures in my face.
But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Neither.
EGEON
Dromio, nor thou?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
No, trust me, sir, nor I.
EGEON
I am sure thou dost.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
305
Ay, sir, but I am sure I do not, and whatsoever a man denies, you are now bound to believe him.
EGEON
Not know my voice! O time’s extremity,
Hast thou so crack’d and splitted my poor tongue
In seven short years that here my only son
310
Knows not my feeble key of untuned cares?
Though now this grainèd face of mine be hid
In sap-consuming winter’s drizzled snow,
And all the conduits of my blood froze up,
Yet hath my night of life some memory,
